Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
