hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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