so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Your penis caused this!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
