That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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