At least make sure they are 18
Why
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
