Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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