U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
