Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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