I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
