She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
