i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize