I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
