she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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