guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
