I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
