very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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