oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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