very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
