As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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