It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Randomize
