matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
