My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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