Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I think I just shit out all my problems.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
