More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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