dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
