no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
