Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
