Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
