fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
