ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
