so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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