Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize