Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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