I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
