your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
