I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
