Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
