it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
