Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
