i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
