And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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