This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
