I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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