This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
