I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
