Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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