That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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