remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
