Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
