She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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