dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
