I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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