just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
